Chillin' at the Pool

I took a walk yesterday. Yeah, I know. Totally out of character. But I'm not stupid. I understand that a 100% sedentary lifestyle could lead to complete muscle atrophy. Then, I wouldn't have a choice -- and I do hate having my choices taken away from me. Of course, I could always send away for a Hoveround ... but doesn't Medicare usually pay for that? I think Hoveround is the brand of motorized chair (although it could be Lark) with the commercial showing the old ladies, their scooters perched just at the edge of the Grand Canyon. They're smiling and waving, comfortably seated mere millimeters from disaster. Man, that commercial makes me want my own Hoveround! But since I don't have the money (or the Medicare) for that right now, I decided to take a walk -- on my own two legs. And, after all, it was a gorgeous day ... for once.

When I do get out and about within the complex, I like to walk by the swimming pool -- the one closest to my apartment -- because you just never know what you're gonna see. A family of Mallard ducks paddling about. A cat, carefully leaning over the edge to take a sip of chlorinated goodness, losing his balance and falling in. The Clothes People, as Lindsay has termed them, going for a swim fully clothed. What? Yep. There's a rather large group of Latino residents here who love to use the pool but only dressed in street clothes. I'm not talking shorts and t-shirts, either. I've seen them taking a dip in jeans, button-down shirts, skirts, and even sweats. I have no idea why they do this, but I'm thinkin' it could be religious. After all, Pentacostals hang at the beach in long dresses and nylon stockings. Or, I suppose it could be an interesting alternative to the laundromat. Not really sure ... but it's odd. However, what I saw while out on my walk was the strangest sight I've beheld so far.

Stretched out on the lounges facing the pool reclined two women reading a newspaper. Normally, I wouldn't think twice about this. However, these two were bundled up to such a degree that they could have been express-flown to Antarctica and dropped on a glacier in the middle of nowhere with no chance of frostbite or even a case of the shivers. They each wore a large, puffy snow jacket with the hood pulled so far down and cinched so tightly, only the eyes and nose could be seen. Well, except for the fact that they were wearing sunglasses. Then, there were snow pants, thick socks, and bulky boots. Did I mention the gloves? I could literally see about two square inches of skin -- around the nose. Everything else was carefully covered. Remember that it was at least 70 degrees outside. And ... if you're that cold -- and that covered -- what's the point of lying out by the pool? I'm guessing they weren't working on their tans. Although, they might have been preparing to take a dip. I couldn't see enough of either of them to ascertain whether they belong to the Clothes People clan. But that's a little extreme, even for those guys. As I pondered all of this, I watched as one woman/man/alien struggled to sit up and hand the Metro section to the other reclining Eskimo. It's no easy feat, after all, to move around wearing so much gear. Maybe, for shits and giggles, I'll wear my space suit down there the next time I'm feeling aquatically inclined.

B

Pet Peeve of the Day:
Official documents -- published, legal, etc. -- filled with grievous spelling and grammar errors. Is it really that hard to proofread it first? Why, just yesterday, while filling out a job application, I came to the legal portion at the end only to find that it appeared to have been written by a kindergartner. So horrified was I that I quickly marked all of the mistakes before returning it to the front desk. "Um, I don't mean to be picky," I said, "but you might want to let your manager know that this release is filled with terrible writing errors. I've made all the necessary corrections, so feel free to use them." Her puzzled look was comical. But come on! I can't let something like that slide. How embarrassing! If they hire me, I'm going to insist on taking over all writing and editing duties -- even though that doesn't even remotely appear in the job description -- because I cannot possibly work for a company that blithely hands out poorly written material like that. Right?